So I'm sick. Not just the "I don't feel well" kind of sick. I'm talking about the whole-body-hurts-plugged-head-raging-fever-sore-throat-up-all-night-blowing-your-nose-and-coughing kind of sick. I really think it's a combo of the flu and a sinus infection, so you can imagine how last night I was praying for God to just take me so I could get some sweet relief.
Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE to be legitimately sick. I do, however, like to feel kind of yucky so that Bart can baby me and I can drink ginger ale and eat pickles all day. But to be really sick? I'll pass every time. There is nothing worse than having a head so stuffy that you can't think straight or lay down flat.
BUT...I must say that I still love the babying I get from Bart! Last night when I got home from work (on my day off by the way--but that's a whole different story) Bart made us dinner and then we watched the Green Mile. All day today he has been bringing me drinks, medicine, and anything else I want. It does make being sick just a little bit more bearable!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Alone.
Sometimes the loneliness I feel here is more than I can bear. I have my Bart, but there is no one else I can really talk to or do things with. It can be so hard. It's one of the reasons why I'm so thrilled to be moving back home in May. I can be around people I have known my whole life--friends I'm missing and family, mainly. And it will be good to be in the country again. City life just doesn't agree with me. Or maybe it's this city that doesn't agree with me.
It will be so nice to have plans again. Plans that don't include Bart and his friends. I love being with my husband, but sometimes a girl needs to get out and be with her girlfriends, you know? Bart and I can get so short with each other because we spend practically all of our free time together. We were never a couple who wanted to spend every waking moment in each other's company because we tend to, after a while, get on each other's nerves. But, I don't want to be left here alone all the time while Bart goes out and has fun with his friends, and Bart feels bad leaving me by myself and is torn between going out and staying home. It's just a stinky situation.
I get so moody being stuck here in this apartment. You might think it is super easy to get around this city, because, you know, I'm sitting right in the middle of it, but it's not true. The blistering, blinding wind/cold are enough to keep anyone indoors. It doesn't help that, since we don't have a car, we have to stand in the cold wind to wait for any kind of transportation to take us from A to B. And when I do get out, it is usually to the grocery store (NOT my favorite place). If I go to a store where I actually want to shop, Bart is with me and he hates shopping in general almost as much as I had grocery shopping. He usually ends up at a cafe or bookstore to hang around while I shop alone. It's sad. I feel like I don't have anyone to really enjoy things with. Well, not the girl things, anyway.
It's so hard to be removed from everything you know and take comfort from to be in a place you don't like.
It will be so nice to have plans again. Plans that don't include Bart and his friends. I love being with my husband, but sometimes a girl needs to get out and be with her girlfriends, you know? Bart and I can get so short with each other because we spend practically all of our free time together. We were never a couple who wanted to spend every waking moment in each other's company because we tend to, after a while, get on each other's nerves. But, I don't want to be left here alone all the time while Bart goes out and has fun with his friends, and Bart feels bad leaving me by myself and is torn between going out and staying home. It's just a stinky situation.
I get so moody being stuck here in this apartment. You might think it is super easy to get around this city, because, you know, I'm sitting right in the middle of it, but it's not true. The blistering, blinding wind/cold are enough to keep anyone indoors. It doesn't help that, since we don't have a car, we have to stand in the cold wind to wait for any kind of transportation to take us from A to B. And when I do get out, it is usually to the grocery store (NOT my favorite place). If I go to a store where I actually want to shop, Bart is with me and he hates shopping in general almost as much as I had grocery shopping. He usually ends up at a cafe or bookstore to hang around while I shop alone. It's sad. I feel like I don't have anyone to really enjoy things with. Well, not the girl things, anyway.
It's so hard to be removed from everything you know and take comfort from to be in a place you don't like.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Resolutions
New Year's Eve means that it is time for me to sit down and make a list of all of my new resolutions for the year ahead. This year, however, I think that instead of listing a whole bunch (that I know I won't follow), I will just list one resolution. One that actually means something and will benefit me more than "getting in shape" or "eating healthy," etc.
This year, I am going to build my relationship with God. By going to our amazing church every Sunday, reading my Bible a bit each day and praying, I'll be able to meet my resolution--for the first time ever!
That's it. I think that is really all I need.
This year, I am going to build my relationship with God. By going to our amazing church every Sunday, reading my Bible a bit each day and praying, I'll be able to meet my resolution--for the first time ever!
That's it. I think that is really all I need.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Hindsight
There are so many things I wish I could go back and tell my sixteen year old self. I don't have many regrets, but there are definitely words of encouragement and advice that I could have used along the way.
1. Get close to God now. You have no idea how much you will need Him over the years, and loving and knowing Him will help fill that huge void you feel from Mom's death. You will make peace with her death so much sooner if you do this. Listen to Aunt Jayne when she gives you this advice!
2. You will meet your first "love." Enjoy the good times together, but when they start to get bad, move on so you don't waste an extra year and a half of your life trying to salvage something that isn't there. He isn't "the one," anyway. You'll meet your true love in college!
3. Don't stress so much about grocery shopping/cleaning/cooking/taking care of Dad and Traci. Learn to do those things, but make sure Dad and Traci know how to take care of things, too. It will probably make a big difference in Dad's life, and help Traci feel needed. You need to make time to enjoy yourself, too.
4. DO NOT let people tell you that you, Traci and Dad are the reason Mom got sick and died. IT IS NOT TRUE! Don't loose sleep over it. Don't start chewing your lips over it, because you'll never break that habit once you start.
5. Spend more quality time with Dad and Traci. Again, this might alleviate issues that will arise later.
6. Get extra help in Math. I know it's horrible (it will always be horrible), but maybe it will make college a little easier and you won't have to take Math three times to graduate!
7. Don't think you're ugly or unattractive. You are not.
8. Don't think you need to major in English just because Mom, Aunt Linda and Kristin all did. You're good at it, yes, but take the time to really think about what you want to be and what you want to do with yourself. But I hope you still choose to go to Plattsburgh! You will make some of the BEST friends of your life there!
9. Remember everything Mom taught you and told you. She is always right. Listening to those life-lessons will serve you well and make things easier. Make sure to take the time to teach Traci, too.
10. Know that the life you are living will be even more wonderful than you imagined! You'll get through all of the tough times just fine. Only remember the good ones!
1. Get close to God now. You have no idea how much you will need Him over the years, and loving and knowing Him will help fill that huge void you feel from Mom's death. You will make peace with her death so much sooner if you do this. Listen to Aunt Jayne when she gives you this advice!
2. You will meet your first "love." Enjoy the good times together, but when they start to get bad, move on so you don't waste an extra year and a half of your life trying to salvage something that isn't there. He isn't "the one," anyway. You'll meet your true love in college!
3. Don't stress so much about grocery shopping/cleaning/cooking/taking care of Dad and Traci. Learn to do those things, but make sure Dad and Traci know how to take care of things, too. It will probably make a big difference in Dad's life, and help Traci feel needed. You need to make time to enjoy yourself, too.
4. DO NOT let people tell you that you, Traci and Dad are the reason Mom got sick and died. IT IS NOT TRUE! Don't loose sleep over it. Don't start chewing your lips over it, because you'll never break that habit once you start.
5. Spend more quality time with Dad and Traci. Again, this might alleviate issues that will arise later.
6. Get extra help in Math. I know it's horrible (it will always be horrible), but maybe it will make college a little easier and you won't have to take Math three times to graduate!
7. Don't think you're ugly or unattractive. You are not.
8. Don't think you need to major in English just because Mom, Aunt Linda and Kristin all did. You're good at it, yes, but take the time to really think about what you want to be and what you want to do with yourself. But I hope you still choose to go to Plattsburgh! You will make some of the BEST friends of your life there!
9. Remember everything Mom taught you and told you. She is always right. Listening to those life-lessons will serve you well and make things easier. Make sure to take the time to teach Traci, too.
10. Know that the life you are living will be even more wonderful than you imagined! You'll get through all of the tough times just fine. Only remember the good ones!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
After Christmas Shopping
It's the day after Christmas, which means that the world (and the two of us!) are winding down. Even though we were unable to be with our families this year, our Christmas was still wonderful! We ate some delicious food--though I say it myself--got some really great/thoughtful gifts, and even began a new "family" tradition.
I had high hopes this year of getting Bart and myself new winter coats. Ours are 3 and 4 years old and, lets face it, peacoats just do NOT get the job done when you live in Chicago. I thought for sure that we would be able to get some great winter coats at pretty fantastic marked down prices today, you know, because it's the day after Christmas and every store in the world is having sales. But, alas, it is not to be! I have had my eye on a new Northface coat for months now. It's beautiful. Black, removable faux-fur around the hood, down-filled, and to the knee. And you know what? It's STILL $300! Which means that the coat I wanted Bart to get is also STILL $200. Sigh. I guess we are going to be cold for a while more.
In other news, I am also in the market for a new nostril screw. I lost mine on Christmas day when it fell down the drain. And it was the BEST screw I've had, too! It was pronged, so the fake diamond never fell out and it laid flat against my skin instead of sticking up like a big round zit in the way some screws do. I asked my sister to pick me up another (if they still have them) in Saratoga, but in the meantime, I am going to a tattoo parlor out here to see if they have something that will hold me over until the new one comes. So yes, folks, this is going to be my big after Christmas purchase!
I had high hopes this year of getting Bart and myself new winter coats. Ours are 3 and 4 years old and, lets face it, peacoats just do NOT get the job done when you live in Chicago. I thought for sure that we would be able to get some great winter coats at pretty fantastic marked down prices today, you know, because it's the day after Christmas and every store in the world is having sales. But, alas, it is not to be! I have had my eye on a new Northface coat for months now. It's beautiful. Black, removable faux-fur around the hood, down-filled, and to the knee. And you know what? It's STILL $300! Which means that the coat I wanted Bart to get is also STILL $200. Sigh. I guess we are going to be cold for a while more.
In other news, I am also in the market for a new nostril screw. I lost mine on Christmas day when it fell down the drain. And it was the BEST screw I've had, too! It was pronged, so the fake diamond never fell out and it laid flat against my skin instead of sticking up like a big round zit in the way some screws do. I asked my sister to pick me up another (if they still have them) in Saratoga, but in the meantime, I am going to a tattoo parlor out here to see if they have something that will hold me over until the new one comes. So yes, folks, this is going to be my big after Christmas purchase!
Friday, December 24, 2010
O Holy Night
This has always been my favorite Christmas song. It's beautiful, it's powerful and it always reminds me of the real reason we celebrate on this day. Merry Christmas!
O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shiningIt is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night, O night divine
Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and his gospel is peace
Chains, shall he break for the slave is our brother
And in his name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord
Then ever, ever praise we
Noel, noel
O night, O night divine
Noel, noel
O night, O night divine
Noel, noel
O holy night
Monday, December 6, 2010
Photos.
Well, last night I finally uploaded and ordered some pictures from our wedding for Christmas. It's something I have been wanting to do for a while since Carrie captured some really wonderful candids of our families having fun on the day. The only problem was that I had NO idea how to get the photos off of the DVD she sent and onto my computer where I could use them. Bart, thankfully, knows a thing or two about technology, and showed me how to upload. The bad news? It took 4 hours to get the 580 pictures onto my laptop! And guess what? Another 2 to get the uploaded photos uploaded onto mpix.com where I could order them! Lets just say that I watched a lot of TV yesterday.
Anyway, I'm pretty excited about the pictures. I ordered one of me, Dad and Traci to replace the old one of just me and Traci above the mantle in the living room, and I just know he'll love it. He hates getting gifts on Christmas (he'd rather we saved our money), but he always loves the little, thoughtful things. Bart and I are giving Grandma and Grandpa a digital picture frame with a zip drive of alllllll of the pictures on it. That way, they can see them all and print out whatever they want, when they want. I can't give away the rest of the details since some people who read this blog will be recieving pictures!
I can't think what is more wonderful than looking at each and every one of the photos taken on our wedding day. It's so nice to get to relive the day over and over--all the happiness, the tears of joy, the laughs, the love. And tonight we get to look through all of them again! We have to choose our favorite 100 to go into our wedding album that Carrie is making for us. How amazing would it be to have a professional photographer following you around every day? Every wonderful moment would be captured forever!
Anyway, I'm pretty excited about the pictures. I ordered one of me, Dad and Traci to replace the old one of just me and Traci above the mantle in the living room, and I just know he'll love it. He hates getting gifts on Christmas (he'd rather we saved our money), but he always loves the little, thoughtful things. Bart and I are giving Grandma and Grandpa a digital picture frame with a zip drive of alllllll of the pictures on it. That way, they can see them all and print out whatever they want, when they want. I can't give away the rest of the details since some people who read this blog will be recieving pictures!
I can't think what is more wonderful than looking at each and every one of the photos taken on our wedding day. It's so nice to get to relive the day over and over--all the happiness, the tears of joy, the laughs, the love. And tonight we get to look through all of them again! We have to choose our favorite 100 to go into our wedding album that Carrie is making for us. How amazing would it be to have a professional photographer following you around every day? Every wonderful moment would be captured forever!
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