Teeth? Who Needs 'Em!

So today is one of my two days off per week (the other is Sunday), and I finally got to sleep in! I don't know what it is about not getting two days off in a row, but I never feel rested before I have to go back to work again. Yuck.

Anyway, yesterday at work was interesting. Since we see at least 200 patients per day (over 400 on our long days), I get to meet a lot of weirdos. Case in point: Woman With Weird Blue Eyes. I was approached right before the end of my day yesterday by a woman with almost white-blue eyes. Freaky. It looked like she only had the whites of her eyes and then this startlingly black pupil. It was like something out of a scary movie, but not as scary as the blood-red eyes of the albino girl that came in last week, but I digress. Anyway, this woman wanted to make an appointment for herself and as I start entering her information into the system, she asks me how old I think she is. Now, I really hate getting this question from patients because 99% of the ones that we see are very poor. Very poor people tend to age badly and look at least 10 years older than they really are. What did I do? I thought fast (for once). I told her that I hadn't thought about her age because I was so surprised by her eyes.

And things only got weirder from there. I guess this woman, who looked like a young 65, but who was really 35, thought she was a comedian or something. Every sentence she spoke came out like a punch line, but she wasn't saying anything funny. Then she tells me (like a hilarious joke) that she has MS, used to box and do something in a dojo (sp? I don't know what that is anyway...) and how she used to get teased as a kid. She spoke as though she could have taken on Jackie Chan or something, never mind her limp and the fact that she probably weighed 80lbs. Talk about uncomfortable!

She went on to tell me she liked my laugh ("Oh, thanks!") and my teeth ("Oh. Thanks?") Then she told me that she almost died due to an infection she had in her gums (and laughed the whole time). Apparently she had all of her teeth removed because of it. And how do I know this? Because she not only told me, SHE OPENED HER MOUTH LIKE A STARVING BABY BIRD AND SHOWED ME!!!!! That's why.

I swear to God, I must have jumped back about a half mile when she did. What is wrong with people???? And let me tell you something else, I have never brushed my teeth with more vigor than I did last night.